the voice in the shadows
by lithpinlitha
Summary: maureen and mark as friends. maureen is coming home from the engagement party and something horrible happens...i only own kat and dr. freedenburg. the rest, nope.
1. Chapter 1

**The Voice in the Shadows**

She slumped down the dark street. With every step, her rage grew.

"How could she do this to me?" she muttered to herself. "I can't help who I am! It's not like _she's_ perfect! I, at least, could look over her annoying habits. Like, biting the end of her pen cap, chewing on her nails, and the never ending business calls during dinner. After all, I love her. It's not like I _try_ to hit on people, it's sort of a reflex. The world is just a stage summoning me to perform for it. It's like, some demon takes controls over my body, and I'm inside desperate to stop myself, but the demon covers up my screams for help. The fact that I'm a little scared of commitment doesn't really help either…"

She leaned up against a building and pulled out some cigarettes from her pocket. Mimi had given them to her, and said that they were good for when the pain is unbearable. She had never tried cigarettes before, but the pain could never be worse. She lit it up and inhaled. It definitely took her mind off of the lonliness that crept up on her. She released a puff of smoke and sorrow.

"Maureen Johnson?" said a voice in the shadows.

She turned her head to see the voice.

"Maureen! I can't believe it's you!"

She squinted her eyes and leaned forward a bit to see who this mysterious voice was.

"Where have you been?" asked the voice.

"I was just at my engagement party…"

"Oh, how did that go?"

"It was kind of a disaster. We broke up…" She leaned farther. This voice did not seem familiar. Who was it?

"Oh, well, that's a shame."

"Who are you?"

"We never really met…I've waited so long to see you!" He came out of the shadows. He was an ugly man. He looked like he was about her age. He was balding and snaggle-toothed. He came towards her. "I'm your biggest fan! I love you!"

She backed away, but he continued to come towards her. Her heart was beating fast. There was something about him…

"o-oh, how k-kind…" she stammered

"No, I'm _in love_ with you! I need you! Maureen, you are my heart's beat, my lips' hum. I love you! I'm your biggest fan!"

She ran away, crying for help. He chased after her. He tackled her, and dragged her into the shadows. He got on top of her. She tried to scream, but he covered her mouth. She kicked and squirmed, but he held her down. He ripped off her clothes and did what he came there to do. She dug her fingers into the cold, damp ground. Tears where pouring down her face and streaming into her mouth, choking her. He got up, and smirked.

She gazed into the sky. It was starting to snow.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Drama Queen**

Mark looked down at the sleeping Maureen. She was still as beautiful as ever. He listened to the rhythm of her breathing and watched her chest move up and down at a steady pace. How did he slip up? Why did he have to lose her?

"Marky?" she said with a small voice.

"I'm here," he said running to her side and grabbing her hand.

"Wha-what hap-happened? Whe-where am I?" asked the angel faintly.

"I was walking home after going to the Life Café, and I found you fainted and your clothes where torn into shreds. Maureen, where you raped?"

"Then it wasn't a nightmare!" she sobbed.

"Oh my gosh, Maureen! That must have been hell!" said mark hugging her.

"I tried to get him off me. That putrid man…" she said between loud sobs. "Where's Joanne? I want to talk to Joanne!"

Mark's heart stopped. He forgot. She didn't love him.

"She probably doesn't want to talk to me, though. Who could blame her? I am such a skank! I want my pookey!" she cried.

"How are you going to tell her?" he asked.

"I never even thought of that!" she gasped "Do you think I should? What if she hates me even more because of it?"

"Why would she? It wasn't your fault." Mark said comforting her. He really hated to see her cry, but he liked being there for her.

"Oh, Mark, I'm so scared! What if I'm pregnant? What if I have AIDS?"

"That would never happen to you."

"Why?"

"I wouldn't allow it."


	3. Chapter 3

**paRENTs?**

The phone rang. Maureen didn't get up. She stared at it with disbelief. She was still not back with Joanne. What was the point of answering the phone, if it wasn't her?

"Hi Maureen! It's your mother. Honey, we know you had a rough time at the engagement party, what with fighting with your…..fiancé, and all. Did you like the cowbell we sent you? We noticed that you used it for the protest. It's pure silver. Just don't leave it out in the rain! Oh, you're father wants to talk to you." sang the answering machine "Maureen, it's your dad. Look, we've decided that if you want to be a lesbian, that's just fine. At least you won't get knocked up by that Mark guy. Is that guy still head over heels for you? What a loser! Well, I've got to crap, so love ya, yadda-yadda-yadda, bye."

It was amazing how much her own parents reminded her of Mark's. He should understand better than anyone about the pains of nosy, loud, opinionated parents. She let out a sigh. Mark. Did he still love her? How? After everything she had done to him?

The phone rang again, pulling her back into the present. She didn't get up to answer it; just stared at it, hoping that it could be Joanne…

"Hi, Maureen, it's Mark. I have terrible news…" said the machine. She reached over and picked it up, concerned.

"Mark? I'm listening," she said, urging him to continue.

"Oh, thank God you're home! It's about Angel…"

"_oh, God!_" she whispered biting her lip.

"I'm afraid she passed. Poor Collins is devastated; he refuses to leave the body. The funeral's on Halloween. Have you heard from Joanne yet?"

"No, not yet."

"How are you doing?"

"Terrible, thanks. I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow morning to be checked out. I have to go alone, so I'm pretty much terrified."

"I'll go with you"

"Thanks"

"see you tomorrow"

"bye" she whispered as she hung up. Then it hit her. Angel died. Angel _died_. _Angel_ died. And a single tear ran down her cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dr. Freedenberg**

Another day at work. That was Kat's life. She wasted her life away at the hospital answering telephones, sending e-mails, and gossiping with the nurses. It wasn't her idea of fun, but it definitely wasn't boring. She only had to endure five more years of this and then she would have saved up enough money to open her own coffee shop, instead of having to run out and get Dr. Freedenberg his nasty excuse of a "latte" from McDonald's.

The door was thrust open and in walked a woman with a quirky man with a camera following close behind. _She's gorgeous_ Kat though, the words wrapping around her racing heart.

The woman came over to the counter with the most beautiful smile Kat had ever seen. She winked and pointed to her name on the list. _Maureen Johnson_, such a pretty name.

Maureen leaned forward and looked Kat square in the eye.

"When can I see the Doctor?" she asked, her voice as sweet as honey.

"Um, err…" the words stuck in her throat. Maureen smelled so good…

"I like your hair style. Very cute," She curled her fingers through Kat's hair. Kat nearly melted into a puddle on the floor.

"Um, thanks," she muttered. "I need you to sign this."

Maureen grabbed the clipboard Kat pushed towards her. She signed it and handed it back, winking. Then she turned at went over to the man. Kay couldn't make out the expression on her face. Worry? Fear?

"Katrina? Katrina? Has Maureen Johnson signed in?" Dr. Freedenberg's voice boomed through her ear.

"Yes, Dr. Freedenberg," she muttered going back to her computer.

"Send her in, please,"

Kat looked over at Maureen. To her surprise, she was crying. She walked over and looked at the man.

"Dr. Freedenberg is ready to see her, " Kat whispered. She had an urge to reach out and hug Maureen. To hold her and tell her everything's going to be okay. Whatever everything was.

Maureen got up and dried her eyes. She looked at Kat and waited for her to show her the way. Kat led her through the confusing halls to Dr. Freedenberg's office. She sat down on the papered table. The tears slowly creeped back up.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" Kat asked, wishing there was _something_ she could do to help.

"I'm fine," she whispered.

Kat went back to her desk and read her e-mails. She needed to distract herself during the long, excruciating wait.

Her mom wads fine. Her Uncle Tom and Aunt Rachael finally had the baby. He was healthy baby boy, 7 pounds and 3 ounces. Her best friend, Sara, meet a great guy named Jack. They're having their 2nd date today. The e-mails started to blend together. _Why was Maureen crying?_

After what felt like an eternity, Maureen walked through the door. She went over to her male friend. Kat had thought she said, "He'll call after he gets the test results."

Maureen hugged her friend a couple more tears sliding down her cheeks. They walked out, forgetting to sign out. Kat filled out the charts for her and hoped she wouldn't get in too much trouble for having it not signed. But, then she realized, she didn't care. All she cared about was Maureen. She had to do something, but what?


	5. Chapter 5

**Halloween**

Angel was dead. Joanne struggled to believe it. People like Angel are too sweet to die. They don't deserve it. But, there he was, in the cold, dark ground with nothing but a lowly stone marking where he lay. She laid a rose on the grave and watched Collins stare at the tomb stone. _Did Angel know how lucky he was?_

She looked up in time to see Rodger and Mimi walking away. Maureen, of course, was following close behind. _Ugh, that drama queen! Can't she mind her own business?_ With out thinking, she followed her beautiful Maureen.

"It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?" Mimi's quiet voice gently asked, the doubt obvious in her eyes.

"It's true. I'm leaving now for Santa Fe. It's true you're with this yuppy scum?" He pointed to Benny, loathing lining his face.

"You said you'd never speak to him again," Benny smugly sang, with the same loathing.

"Not now," Mimi half sang. It was more of a whisper.

"Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?" Maureen angrily spat out at him. _Why can't she leave things alone? She __always__ has to let everyone know how she feels. Can't she hold anything inside?_

"Yeah!" Rodger agreed.

"Who said that you should _stick your nose_ in other people's business?" Joanne stabbed

"Who said I was talking to _you_?" Maureen stabbed back.

"We used to have this fight each night! She'd never admit I existed!" Joanne sang angrily, tears building in her eyes.

"He was the same way- he was always 'run-away, hit the road, don't commit' you're full of _shit_!" Mimi agreed. Joanne didn't even look at her; her eyes were glued to Maureen.

"She's in denial,"

"He's in denial"

"Didn't give an inch, when I gave a mile!" the tears flowing now.

" I gave a mile!" Mimi screamed.

"Gave a mile to who?" Rodger screamed back.

"I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had, someone to live for-unafraid to say 'I love you'" Joanne cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was shaking and the floor refused to stay still. She couldn't hear anything. She couldn't see anything. The whole world was spinning around her.

Maureen came up to her crying. She looked into Joanne's eyes and then held her tight. Joanne could feel Maureen's lips kiss her over and over. She could feel Maureen mouth "I'm so sorry" on her cheek.


	6. Chapter 6

**Confide**

Maureen turned over and kissed her Joanne on the forehead. She was so beautiful. This is where she belonged, next to Joanne. It's where she wanted to stay. Forever.

"Maureen?" Joanne faintly asked, half asleep.

"Good morning, Pookey." Maureen murmured, stroking Joanne's cheek. She smiled and turned onto her side, returning to her slumber.

Maureen went out into the kitchen. The green numbers on the oven claimed it to be Five O'clock in the morning. She sat down at the table and grabbed an apple from the bowl in the center. She turned it over in her hands as if it would give her the answers that she seeked. The questions spiraled around in her head, and if you were quick enough, you may be able to grab one.

_How am I going to tell her?_

_Will she be able to take it?_

_Would she be able to look at me the same way again if I did tell her?_

"Baby?" Joanne stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, love," she murmured. "Just couldn't sleep any longer."

"Oh," Joanne mumbled, processing what she had just heard.

"Joanne…" Maureen stared at the apple in her hands. "We need to talk. I'm afraid if I don't tell you now, I'll never get the courage up."

Joanne sleepily slumped to the chair next to Maureen and let out a yawn. She rubbed her eyes again and asked what was wrong, half awake.

"Here," Maureen got up and poured Joanne a cup of coffee. "You'll need to be awake for this one."

Joanne slowly took a sip, and her eyes bugged open. She spat the coffee back into the mug and grimaced. "Ugh! Are you trying to kill me?" she demanded, playfully. "Could that be any stronger?"

"Well, you need to be awake," Maureen defended, all humor gone.

Joanne processed her mood and came over to Maureen. She wrapped her arms around her and pulled her to her chest. "What's wrong, love?"

In the embrace of Joanne, the whole story poured out of her. The memories off the horrid night, linger in the air she exhaled, as if to taunt her. She buried her face into Joanne's shoulder.

"What?" Joanne pulled away to look Maureen in the face. "Oh my God! Are you okay? Who did this?" Her nostrils flared in fury.

"I'm fine," Maureen whispered " but there's more."

"What?" Joanne demanded.

"I'm pregnant."


End file.
